I was speaking with my soon to be sister in law today and we were both frustrated and too through with all of the drama that comes with our in laws and by matter of course our men. I'm sure our complaints and gripes aren't any more extreme than the average however when we are going through it with this type of situation it can become very isolating. As the veteran in our relationship I have tried to encourage her with stories of my own experiences and failure to relate to or manage the complicated can of worms that is my husbands family. I also have attempted to create for her a supportive and comfortable space so that she might feel like she is welcome at least in our part of the family but nagging at the back of my mind is still the question of just who am I married to here???
In my ideal world I guess the answer would be just my husband but we live here so I 'm aware that I signed up for a whole lot more than that when we took our vows almost ten years ago. I still wonder sometimes what inspires such indifference in them that they would rather hurt their family members than try to sincerely be a positive influence in their lives. Amazingly or maybe less so, our husbands are not quite so upset about the status quo and it creates a lot of resentment within our marriage/relationship, because we are not able to understand the willingness of these otherwise reasonable people to search out and submit themselves to the cruel treatment they receive whenever there is an interaction with the inlaws.
Any advice on how to effectively deal with this and still build strength into our relationships would be great!!
No comments:
Post a Comment